Canterbury Bar on E 15th is Stupid

We had another day of crazy snow yesterday; fortunately, it was Saturday and I didn't have to leave the house, other than to go one block over to the grocery store and the gym. David was not so lucky: he had some Christmas shopping to do, so his quest for the perfect present took him on a scenic tour of Seattle in the snow.

I made dinner based on a recipe in the book "KCTS 9 Cooks: Potatoes II," something left over in work. It's a compilation of recipes from KCTS viewers, and even though every one has the common ingredient of some form of potato, there is still a variety of options, from salad to casseroles to desserts (potato candy anyone?). I also wanted to try a recipe I found for Wassail, spiced beer with a little port (or in my case, a nip of brandy and some cheap wine). We were getting cabin fever, but the party we had intended to go to was in Ballard, and we didn't think we would be able to get there and get home in the snow.

Chris called to see if we wanted to go to a bar. We did. We walked up to his place and hung out in his apartment for a bit while we regrouped. The bar they wanted to go to was just around the corner. After about 45 minutes of chilling (well, warming up really) and watching videos on Chris' PC, we headed out. Chris and Kristen got a couple of gin and tonics, David got a beer, Casey got something, and I had a soda- I was already tired. David thought that the bartender was a jerk.

We sat in front of a fake fireplace and watched the Top 10 Greatest Northwest Sports Teams on TV. Next to us, two guys and a girl were getting hammered. They ordered another pitcher, and asked us to watch their table while they went outside. We agreed. They were so drunk and obnoxious that someone (Chris or Casey) had the idea to put something in their beer. We laughed at the idea, but Casey decided to do it. With an evil grin, he deftly put a few shakes of tobasco in each of their glasses, plus the half-full pitcher.

The trio of drunkards returned, and resumed their drinking. After a few minutes, we heard one complain that his beer was stinging his lips. They talked for a few minutes among themselves, then began to question us. "You were watching our table, did you see anyone do this?" "No," we said.

Before long, their beer-addled brains still had enough sense to figure out that we were the culprits. "Did YOU do this?" they asked. "Of course not," we replied. But by then, they were on to us. One came over, and had Casey sample his beer. "It's a little spicy," he agreed. The jerk poured it out in Kristen's cup. She marched off to get a new drink.

The drunks were still bothering us, and they wanted to fight. Casey offered to buy them a new pitcher, just to get it to stop. He argued with the first guy. The other fellow, a portly man with a sweatshirt and a mustache, came over to Chris and knocked his hat off. "My girlfriend's lips are burning because of you," he growled. "I want no fight, friend," Chris replied. Then the man backhanded Chris in his left eye.

Kristen came back with her beer and noticed that something was wrong with Chris' face. She went to get the bartender. Casey was still talking to the other men, then went to buy them more beer. David and I sat there.

Casey returned with a pitcher, and the bartender came over. He talked to the other men and got their side of the story. He talked to Casey next. Casey came over to get his jacket. "I have to leave," he said. The bartender came over to us. "Is he a friend of yours?" He asked. "Yes," we replied. He motioned to the door; "you too," he said.

So we gathered our winter gear and headed for the door. Casey and Kristen paid their tabs. The drunks stayed- apparently in that bar, a practical joke where the offender offers to undo his wrongdoing is a more serious offense than assault. As we walked away, David said, "That bartender was a jerk. I didn't tip him even before we got kicked out." Kristen said, "Casey did!"

So, Chris got into his first bar fight, Casey learned a valuable lesson about the perils of pranking drunks, and all of us were ejected for unruly conduct for the first time. It was a memorable evening.